I Wish You Well
by Scalding Starfish
Summary: Soi Fon's third seat is in love with Byakuya but she knows he is still in love with Hisana. Will she survive or will she become consumed with grief? Song-fic


He had always been lost after Hisana died and nothing could change that. Byakuya's heart had become cold and closed off to the world and I had accepted that. My love for him would never matter and yet my heart still yearned for him.

_Sometimes love feels like pain, and sometimes I wonder if it's all the same._

He was a captain while I was just a mere third seat under Soi Fon. She was an excellent captain and didn't take excuses from anyone. That was part of the reason I was a minor disappointment. I was told to be an amazing fighter but every time I fought I became more depressed and fought recklessly.

_Sometimes life feels just like rain, 'cause you never know when it's gonna fall down on you._

The reason I fought so recklessly was because I had no drive to fight. Why should I fight when I had nothing? Why should I fight when the one thing I want is out of reach forever? I guess that's just life though. That might be why I took this mission, the suicide mission that would end my life.

_I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself._

My mission was to invade Huecco Mundo and assassinate Sousuke Aizen. I know that a mere third seat is weak in comparison but I took it because I need to feel worth. Maybe if I can do it I will start to become better, and if not then at least I will be gone.

_Sometimes faith feels like doubt, and sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get out._

I'm pretty sure they knew I was coming because I never made it to Sousuke Aizen. I only made it to Ichimaru Gin. He was a tough fighter but I barley won. I knocked him unconscious and practically crawled to an empty room and nursed my wounds.

_Sometimes life hurts just like now, but you gotta know it's all gonna come back around._

I was healing myself for a few hours with what little energy I had when I heard voices outside the door talking about the intruder, me. I was to be killed on sight, an order by Sousuke Aizen himself.

_I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself._

A few more hours passed and I felt fatigue catching up with me. I knew that if I dared to sleep I was practically screaming to be killed. Irregardless I closed my eyes and gave in to the powerful need instantly calming down and forgetting where I was.

_Find yourself; I can't help you find yourself._

My past self would laugh at me now. I would ask myself how careless I had become and how weak.

_Find yourself._

She, my past self, would merely say we win some them lose some but that attitude was gone along with my need to live. Maybe if I had guarded my heart better I wouldn't be this mess.

_And we were sixteen at the time, and nothing could ever change our minds._

"**Have you become this low**?" my sword Luna growled at my state. I was still dreaming but I could always hear her.

_We were one step below invincible, and we always fought it._

"**If you have no one to fight for then why am I here? I do not wish to disappear with someone as worthless as you**," she lectured. My eyes widened in realization that she would die as well if I did. "**Just finish the mission and go home. He may not love you or even know your existence but if you die here he never will**."

_You've never been the same; you were so scared to make a name. Then you threw it all away and I wish you'd come back now._

I sat up suddenly and grabbed my sword ignoring my muscles protests. I felt the air around myself and then ran out of the room towards Sousuke Aizen's spiritual pressure. I avoided everyone on the way saving my energy for the main battle and when I arrived he smirked like he planned this.

_I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself._

The fight was huge and the building around us was crumbling. He stood tall while I was nearly on my knees. "You are too weak to defeat me. What made you think you could beat me?" his smirk returned and I fell to my knees. Another wound appeared on my back.

_I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself._

I felt a blackness creeping up in my sight and voices started turning into mumbling and I knew I had lost. **"Don't give up hope," **my sword whispered even though she knew that this battle was lost. I lost my sight and became numb to the world in the next few seconds.

_I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself._

I was lying on a bed in squad fours care when I awoke and it confused me to no end. I tried to connect with my sword but she remained quiet and I groaned. I tested out my limbs and sat up nearly screaming from the pain before lying back down.

_Find yourself._

My captain visited me telling me that she was proud I had nearly succeeded and then told me that the person who helped me finished the fight. I was tempted to ask who but knew if I did I would feel heart break knowing it wasn't Byakuya.

_I can't help you find yourself._

I was exiting the entrance of squad four when I saw him walking towards me. I held my breath and averted my eyes to not feel disappointment when he walked past. I sighed quietly and continued walking when I thought he had passed but was stopped by a hand on my elbow. I turned around and gasped seeing him. "Captain Kuchiki!"

_Find yourself._

"When you are well enough, will you accompany me to have tea?" he enquired.

_I can't help you find yourself._

I stared at him silently and nodded. "When we are both well enough, I will."

~ **B – L – E – A – C – H **~

Thanks for reading! I used the song "Wish You Well" by Thousand Foot Krutch.

I do not own Bleach or the song I used!

Please review! =]


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